Light Dream Page 5
She went through the set flawlessly. She was going to hug Carter breathless after the show. Him and his crazy training had made this possible. Until then, she was going to thank him by singing their duet perfectly.
The moment when Carter would make his triumphal entrance.
The song started slowly. Vy kept her voice steady and touched every note perfectly. The difficult part about this song was to act like she was attracted to Carter. She admired, detested, respected, resented, loved and hated him, but she did not like him. Not romantically, not sexually, not even emotionally. He was her mentor and her nemesis.
She began to sing her part, with the required restraint. She sensed the audience beginning to disconnect. She would turn on the full force of her voice after Carter descended once again amongst his loyal subjects. She readied herself to fake her way through emotions she never felt for anyone.
No, that was a lie. She had glimpsed true passion. She had shoved in a sealed off corner of her mind all things related to Andrew King.
Wanderlust was booked the next day, and she had planned to run away before seeing King. So much for planning her escapeâ¦
She realized that her inner turmoil bled into her voice. They had drilled this song so many times, and she was slipping.
She went on singing, letting the pain of her loneliness sparkle in the music. Carter deserved all the emotional reserves she had. He had stripped her down emotionally and for the first them she didn't try to raise a shield between her emotions and his music. She wanted to make him happy that night, even if that meant opening her inner catalog at the Andrew King chapter.
Carter's voice was about to break through the false sense of security given by the lulling melody. She braced herself for his entrance, knowing that she would love every sound coming out of his mouth. She closed her eyes, waiting for the storm to come into the song.
Her heart stopped, and she forgot to breathe for a moment.
Andrew's voice, not Carter's slipped gracefully into the song. She was used to TC's high octane take on the song, and her pulse sped up in response. Andrew sounded so gentle⦠Yet her heartbeat quickened.
Carter's training came to the rescue. She re-entered the song without missing a beat.
The audience cheered wildly when they recognized King's voice, but the song went on, and they fell silent, entranced by his voice.
She was emotionally naked, and she cursed Carter again for leaving her defenseless. As the song went on, the fear of being close to Andrew turned into longing. She looked at the stage entrance, no longer fearing, but wanting him to show up. His voice had warmed up as he sang, and her heart felt like it was going to burst if he didn't come out and look at her again.
The moment when Carter should have made his entrance passed. Vy faced the audience again, singing without any restraint. She poured her heart into every note, free of inhibition and free in her hopelessness. The song should have ended, but the band kept playing. Vy had her eyes closed when the audience exploded. She turned and saw Andrew on the stage. He kept singing and walked straight to her. He looked at her again with that intensity she still saw in her best dreams.
The band repeated the song, and without thinking, Vy went back into it. She tried to focus anywhere other than into his eyes. Her gaze fell on his mouth and the memory of his kisses exploded into her voice. The alteration in Andrew's perfectly controlled voice nearly undid her.
The band re-played the song for a third time. Vy's senses were in flame. She felt alive and naked. Vulnerable beyond bearing.
When the song finally ended, she gracefully accepted the cheers of the crowd, but ignored Andrew's hand. If she touched him, she would break.
Tim Carter's voice blared through the sound system.
"Ladies and gentlemen, you all know the King. Tonight we hail the Queen of Rock!"
The cheers went up again, and Vy wanted nothing more than to run away. Reality was settling back in and she was becoming aware of how much she had let see. She had revealed her deepest, darkest, most painful secret to the world.
Carter seemed genuinely pleased with the performance. They had to focus and bleed to achieve that chemistry. How the hell could it happen just like magic the very first time she sang with Andrew? The audience didn't know it was their first time. But she knew. And Carter knew. And, worst of all, Andrew knew.
"What is wrong with you?" she screamed at him in the dressing room. "After all the time we put into that song, after all the shit you gave me for the tiniest mistakes, you decided not to do it?"
He didn't even have the decency to make up a lie. He stood before her, taking all her anger without giving her anything.
"When did you decide I'm your plaything and you can do to me whatever strikes your sick imagination? What about me is so offensive to you that you had to take me apart like a toy and put me back together how you think I should be? It's been ten months you've been playing with me, Tim. I can't take it anymore. I'll sign over any rights from the album. I'll pay any penalty. But this can't go on."
"And what will you do? What do you want to do with your life if we stop working together?"
"University starts in October. I'll go back to my life. My real life. This... this can't be my life."
"Viola Alexandra Cesara is dead. You can run as far as you want, but tonight you became the Queen of Rock."
"I'm just part of a game to you. You had to prove a point. You had to show the whole world that you deserved to win Sing again."
"I never had to prove anything to anyone. Except to you."
Vy shook her head. He was messing with her mind again. She knew that for some reason she never understood, he enjoyed torturing her.
"Do you even know why you're so angry?" he asked.
"How could you push me away like that?" she said in a subdued tone. "That was supposed to be our moment."
"I'm flattered," he said with a sneer. "But you're lying. I told you from the start, even if you're lying to yourself, it still counts as lying. I know you, Vy. You're not lying to yourself. You're just a coward."
She turned on her heels and ran out, past Diane and Andrew King. She had to get as far as possible from that place. She could cry once she was safely far from the man she hated and the man she loved. Carter was right. She wasn't lying to herself.
She knew she loved Andrew.
Hundreds of cars were speeding toward the Coast. Hardly anyone was going the other way. She didn't enjoy driving at night, and it felt even weirder to be the only car for miles. She needed space. She needed to lick her wounds in private. She was going home.
At 3 am she unlocked the front door. She punched in the security code and enabled the alarm again. They hadn't disabled her code. A warm wave of love washed over Vy's bruised and battered soul.
There's no place like home.
Now she was going to find out if they kept her room as it was or if they turned it into something else. The stairs didn't creak, the bedroom door opened silently. Her bed was there. Sweet sleep. She was tempted to lay on the bed as it was, but she forced herself to take the duvet off and sneak between the lavender scented bedsheet.
Andrew
He didn't play any music while he drove back to the hotel. Diane was dozing off in the passenger seat and the soothing purr of the engine helped him focus. He found it painful to admit that he was in love.
He replayed the duet in his mind.
For a few seconds, when her voice had grown cold after she heard him, the whole world seemed to have turned to ice. It hurt beyond his worst expectations to know she was not happy to hear him. He hadn't trusted himself enough to step out on the stage. But then, a miracle happened. He heard pain and longing, and he couldn't finish it there. Carter had signaled him to go on and directed him onto the stage.
He hadn't dared to check if anyone had posted footage of the duet online. He didn't want to see himself as his deepest feelings poured out of him. Seeing the fire that consumed her was like looking into a mirror.
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When the song was over, she hadn't taken his hand. He couldn't be upset with for that. Maybe he should be grateful. He would have made a bigger fool of himself if she touched him.
He pulled over in the hotel parking lot and called the Mirage. For the first time in years, he used his fame to make a reservation for two at the perennially unavailable restaurant for the following weekend. He logged on to his account on Magnifique and ordered a dozen of red roses to be delivered to her hotel room. He hesitated over the message.
"Hail to the Queen. Andrew King"
"You are wonderful. Andrew"
He left it blank again, but he checked the box that would reveal the name of the sender. The black roses came from a dark place. The blood red roses came from with his heart.
He checked his phone in the morning, out of habit. A missed call and a text message from the flower company.
"We regret to inform you that the arrangement was not delivered. The hotel informed us that the recipient checked out last night."
It couldn't be a coincidence. She ran away from him. He should have expected it that, but it still hurt. In his head, he heard one of the songs he wrote about her. 'Ghost of you' was far from his rigorous standards for an album, but it haunted him like no other song before. The lyrics were almost verbatim from his attempt to dig into Bryce's feelings to prepare him for round three. Everything he had told Bryce he was going to feel once the competition was over and he and Vy would part ways, everything had happened to him.
He texted the flower company back.
"Dispose of the flowers as you want."
Chapter 6
Vy
WHEN SHE OPENED HER EYES AGAIN, the room was bathed in light. If memory served her well, it was Sunday morning. Or not quite morning. On that time of the year, her room would be so bright only around noon.
In the bathroom, she used soap and water to clean her face. She rubbed at her skin diligently until she got rid of the stubborn mascara stains. She didn't have much choice in terms of clothing. She had taken all her favorite clothes when she moved out, so she had to settle for an old pair of jeans and a designer top, a gift from Leonie. She padded down the stairs partly anxious, partly happy to see her parents.
Her mother was lounging on the couch, with a book, and her father was in the armchair next to her, also reading a book. She watched them from the stairs, basking in the serene atmosphere. She smiled when her father placed his palm over his wife's hand after turning the page. Her mother instinctively rubbed her cheek against his forearm. She loved to see these small gestures, the Cesara trademark private displays of affection.
"Can anyone join the book club?" she asked.
They looked up from their books. Her mother sat up and patted the couch beside herself.
"You need a book if you want join," her father said.
The smile in his voice reached into his eyes.
"We saw your car. Did you drive all night? You need to eat something," her mother said.
Vy sat next to her mother and she was pulled into a sideway hug.
She snuggled there for a few moments, then pulled out of the embrace.
"Come on, let's have brunch."
"Do you want anything in particular?" her father asked.
"Espresso," she said. "In a bucket, if possible."
"Coming right up," he said.
She climbed on one of the tall bar stools and craned her neck to see what was going to come out of the fridge. In a few seconds, a scent of pastry wafted from the small oven at the other side of the kitchen. Before the espresso machine stopped buzzing, her mother already had toast, butter and jam in front of her, and she kept making trips between the fridge and the table bringing cheese, smoked meat and fruits.
Everything tasted delicious. She only then realized how much she'd been missing out in the past few months, living on milk and cereal for breakfast and dinner.
The front door open and Sebastian shouted.
"Mooom, Daaad, I'm hungry."
Her mother shook her head disapprovingly. Adeline St. Croix Cesara was not one to yell as if she was in the fields looking after cows.
"Excellent. I smell food already," her brother said from the living room.
He dropped the large travelling bag hanging on his shoulder in a corner and only then he saw Vy.
"Oh, you're up," he said sounding disappointed.
"You're horrible."
"Yeah? Well your car looks like shit."
"The mouth on you, little brother," she said and took a sip of the coffee. "Dad, this is so good. How did I live without it for so long?"
The sudden tension in his stance was subtle, but it warned Vy that she was on dangerous territory.
"Don't mention your other life. You know they don't approve."
Her brother didn't have the same hang-ups.
"Seriously, you should take better care of that car. It's not your beloved Romeo, but whose fault is that?"
"It's a rental. I'll buy him back."
"Are you already earning that well?" her mother asked.
She shrugged. "I worked a lot on the album so I didn't get many paid gigs this month, but until we start working on the next one, I might go on tour."
"You should let me take a look at your contracts," her father said.
That was as close to an open acceptance as she ever heard from him.
"Sure, dad. I'll call your office on Monday."
He nodded and squeezed her shoulder. Vy tried not to tear up at this overt display of affection.
"How about Salona?" her mother asked.
There was no trace of annoyance or even concern in her voice. She sounded politely curious, sipping her own expresso across the table from Vy.
"They said my application is ok if I submit it again. I don't know if I can earn enough for tuition until-"
Sebastian interrupted her.
"Are you considering giving up singing? Vy are you crazy?"
"I'm keeping my options open. Maybe I can do both. Like high school."
"You don't have to worry about tuition, Vy," her father said.
The warmth in his tone was like balm over an open wound. The relief she felt had nothing to do with the money. She knew she would always have their love, but he also needed their approval. Sebastian opened his mouth, but she silenced him with a look. He didn't look happy, but he shut up.
"We'll let you eat."
"Carter worked you to death so far. You really think he's going to be ok with you treating him as a part time job?" Sebastian said.
"I don't really care what makes Carter happy right now."
"A-ha! So, the moment with King wasn't arranged! I knew it! I'm calling her right now," he said, taking out his phone.
"What are you talking about?"
"We saw-" he interrupted what he was saying to speak in to the phone. "Hey, we were right. It wasn't arranged. Vy is here. "
"How the hell do you-"
He made annoyed shushing gestures.
"Get over here and ask her yourself," he said, putting the phone one the table. "Alice is coming over. But you can tell me the story before she gets here."
"Were you two there?"
"Nah. Someone streamed the whole show."
She took in a deep breath. Great! Everyone saw the thing. Just great. She knew that people film the concerts but she did a pretty good job of not thinking about it. Not just public humiliation. Worldwide humiliation. Maybe it wasn't going to go viral.
"Do you want to see it?" he asked and turned on his phone again.
"No," she said sharply.
He looked at her thoroughly amused. He could read her well enough to know it was a delicate issue. Which meant he was going to pester her mercilessly, so she had to go on the offensive.
"Fucking TC, man!" she said. "You have no idea how many times we rehearsed that song. You know me, I'm not backing down from hard work, but he drove me nuts with that one damn song for weeks."
"Don't bite my head of
f, but I can't imagine it sounds better with TC than it did with King. Holly fucking hell, Vy! Wou sang with Andrew King! It's just me here. Tell me the truth. Do you really believe that what you rehearsed with Carter was better than the version you sang last night?"
Again, with the choice between them. Same two men, yet completely different reasons to choose one or the other.
"With Carter, I was perfect in that song. It probably sounded ok-"
"It sounded awesome, not ok," he interrupted her.
"That song meant a lot to me. I thought it meant as much to him, too, if he was so OCD about it."
"What did it mean to you?" Alice asked.
Vy jumped off her bar stool and hugged her friend, who was wearing a leather jacket on top of her pajamas.
"Where you sleeping when he called? But it's noon!"
"It's the summer holiday. I'm still recovering from the sleepless nights during finals. Now, dish, what did the song mean?"
"It was... He made me feel like he was passing the torch to me. As if I was going to be a part of the Waves."
"You thought TC was going to retire and leave you as lead vocal to the Waves?" Sebastian asked.
"It sounds horrible, but yeah. Sometimes... when we work together, he's like... like he can't do it anymore. It's like he doesn't want to be TC as we all know him. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it."
"I hope you are," Alice said. "The Waves with you instead of TC, don't be offended, but no. Just no."
"I know," Vy said. "That's why I keep taking gigs without him, but whenever I get back, he calls me to the studio and he works me to death."
"You poor thing," Sebastian said. "You found someone who works more than you."
"Actually, yes, he does."
"And you think you'll be able to handle that and Salona. Right," he said sarcastically.
"Are you coming to Salona this year?" Alice asked excited. "Oh my God that would be awesome!"
"It's not decided yet. I do actually have to talk to him before I do this. I am under contract with his label and I'd rather talk to him nicely and not get dad involved."